Infomercials – Not as “Easy” As It Looks

Because I tend towards being an obsessive insomniac (not necessarily in that order), I often watch late night TV to try to wind down, and sometimes end up mesmerized by the virtual onslaught of “infomercials” aired during the wee hours (cleverly aimed at a target audience populated by others like myself no doubt).

Case in point: Not long ago, under one such “spell,” I gleefully purchased these things called “Green Bags,” which are green [obviously], plastic food storage bags that, through some chemical/mineral “magic,” are supposed to keep your produce looking shop fresh for indefinite periods of time! A great money-saving idea, right?

What they don’t clearly tell you [unless you actually READ the fine print on the back of the box -- which box I had quickly tossed in the trash after using up all 20 bags at one time!] is that you have to be vigilant on a [presumably] DAILY basis to make sure you wipe away (with at least some modicum of regularity) any accumulated MOISTURE from inside the bags or they won’t really work! Naturally this is something I failed to do, on either a DAILY or WEEKLY basis!

My “excuses” are: (1) being too busy to bother with such “trifles”, and (2) forgetting there’s something at the bottom of the fridge called a “produce drawer” that I need to open and look into occasionally.

Today I finally opened this “produce drawer” after hearing strange SOUNDS emanating from its bowels, and discovered that I had succeeded in creating quite a wide variety of colorful, furry, fruit AND vegetable MOLDS (and I don’t mean the “Jello salad” type), some species unknown perhaps until now, and some defying description altogether! (It is to my credit, however, that initially, I had ambitiously “Green Bagged” every green, orange, yellow, red, purple and/or blue “fruit” and “veg” thing within proximity of my fridge, and had judiciously placed each bag INTO the produce drawer.)

So much for the “money saving” aspects!

Anyway, since I don’t like feeling like a COMPLETE FAILURE, I’d like to think that maybe I’ve at least made a contribution to modern medicine by inadvertent creation of some new, improved strain of “miracle-cure” “bacillus-something-or-other”, but maybe that’s a stretch.

So, like I said earlier – it’s probably NEVER “as ‘easy’ as it looks”! In fact, I plan on steering clear of any more impulsive TV buys prompted by any infomercial. However, in all fairness to the manufacturers of Green Bags, maybe they can work as advertised (at least for the “moisture obsessed”) but please don’t take MY word for it!

P.S. And in case you might be wondering . . . Because I’d already run out of “Green Bags” by the time I got to the “Fingerling Potatoes” of my previous blog, the spuds had fortuitously escaped the above-described “moldy” fate; however, I still haven’t cooked them and they’re now beginning to take on a very interesting “life” of their own.

[To be continued… “The Attack of the Fingerling Potatoes” or “FEEEEEEEED Meeeeee, SEYMOUR!!!"]