Why Mother Goose Rhymes Are Insidious!

Most of us have at least a marginal familiarity with the Mother Goose rhymes of our childhood. Since my enforced term of “unemployment” two months ago, in an effort to stave off the boredom threatening to engulf me on a daily basis, I’ve taken to delving into anything and everything that strikes my fancy. For some reason, I am now engrossed in reviewing the above mentioned “rhymes”.

“A cat came fiddling out of a barn,
With a pair of bagpipes under her arm…”

WHAT??!! OKAY, now THIS is just plain AMBIGUOUS!! Is the “cat” a “FIDDLER” or is this alleged “cat” a “BAGPIPER”?!! WE DON'T KNOW, thus casting the reader into a roiling PIT of doubt, chaos and turmoil!

“As round as an apple,
As deep as a cup,
All the king's horses
Can't pull it up.”

Blatant sexual innuendo, wouldn’t you say?!!

“As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives…”

FLAGRANT endorsement of POLYGAMY!!

“Cobbler, cobbler, mend my shoe,
Give it a stitch and that will do…”

“Little Betty Blue
Lost her holiday shoe…”

“Cock-a-doodle-doo! My dame has lost her shoe…”

“One, two, Buckle my shoe…”

ad nauseam, ad infinitum…..]

Blatant “FOOT FETISHISM”!!

AND I continue…

“Cushy cow bonny, let down thy milk,
And I will give thee a gown of silk…”

PROSTITUTION!!!

“Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Rapping at the window, crying through the lock,
’Are the children in their beds, for now it's eight o'clock?’"

This “Winkie” character is not only a lunatic EXHIBITIONIST, but more than likely also a PEDOPHILE!! (Of course, with a surname like “Winkie”, small wonder he’s doesn’t have all his OARS in the WATER)!

“Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see an old lady upon a white horse;
Rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes,
And so she makes music wherever she goes.”

I won’t even BEGIN attempting to dissect THAT little gem as it’s so RIFE with ALL MANNER of innuendo and incongruity that my mind REELS!!

I could go on, but I am presently so overwhelmed by shock and disbelief that I must end here. Of course, feel free to continue your own research and draw your own conclusions; however, my caveat: THE READER BEWARE!