After about an hour or two, I noticed, just outside of my field of vision, a weathered, scruffy, bearded man grasping a rolled up blue sleeping bag and a small, dark-colored canvas sack. He appeared to be dressed in a jacket inappropriately warm for the sunny beach weather, a cap pulled down over his graying hair, who, with eyes closed, was listening to us intently. On closer scrutiny, and judging by his puffy, flushed complexion, it was evident he grappled with a serious daily alcohol abuse problem; however, he wasn’t completely grubby and he may have been younger than he looked – it was hard to tell.
After about 15 or 20 minutes he moved closer -- until he was about 12 feet away. We started playing again and he stood as near to us as he dared. Suddenly and quite unexpectedly, he began singing out loud in a relatively clear voice – not OUR words but HIS words -- but it was our melody. If the truth be told, it wasn’t half bad! Our lead singer, however, got slightly peeved and told the man to stop singing and said, “Could you please stop?! We’re trying to play here!” The man began to cry and slowly walked away and as he was leaving he said, “But I thought that’s what music was all about!”
The lead singer, not meaning to have come off so harshly, then told the man he was welcome to listen. The man slowly walked back to us and proceeded to sit in our midst on the cement, listening with a faint smile and moist eyes. We eventually took another break and the guitar player gave him a few of her cigarettes. The man (who by this time had told us his name was “Ronnie James”) began talking to the guitar player, all the while longingly eyeing her guitar and, tears again welling up in his eyes, he told her that he used to play guitar and sing. She asked him, “When’s the last time you touched a guitar, Ronnie?” He said, “About a year ago – I had to pawn mine,” his gaze melting inward and into the distance.
He left shortly thereafter, with his few belongings and a few cigarettes in hand, but before leaving, he attempted to hug and kiss each of us. I inadvertently recoiled when he tried to hug me and, instead, reluctantly extended my hand, not a proud moment for me but human nature I suppose. Thereafter I was inspired to write a song about him and, being a lyricist, wrote the following lyrics – the music’s in the process of being composed…
This is for you, Ronnie James, and all the “Ronnie Jameses” out there. Keep the music in your heart!
Shadow Man/The Ballad of Ronnie James © Lyric by Myrna Neuberg –
21 August 2009
You pass him on the street - he smiles -
You turn and walk away,
Because he’s just a shadow man
That’s all he is today.
He said he had a good guitar
And he could really play
But now he’s just a shadow man
To scorn and throw away.
Chorus
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Maybe kin of Jesse James
Once you thought that you could do it all.
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
You’re all that’s left of Ronnie James
You didn’t know how far it was you’d fall.
It’s been a long and twisted road
It’s been a long way down
Just try to keep on breathing
As you walk the streets of town.
You said you’d had a good guitar
Yes, you could really play.
But you’ve become a shadow man
To scorn and throw away.
Chorus
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Maybe kin of Jesse James
Once you thought that you could do it all.
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
You’re all that’s left of Ronnie James
You didn’t know how far it was you’d fall.
You pawned your old guitar you said
About a year ago
Or maybe it’s been longer
You really didn’t know.
But you’ve still got a song inside
And tried to sing along
Just making up your own words
‘Cause you didn’t know our song.
Chorus
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Looking just like Jesse James
Once you thought that you could do it all.
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Where are the dreams of Ronnie James?
You never dreamed how far it was you’d fall.
Bridge
But hold on to that song inside
‘Cause music was your joy and pride
You said you picked a mean guitar like me.
Before you walk that final line
Remember that you’ve still got time
There is a way; it’s just that you can’t see.
Chorus
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Looking just like Jesse James
Once you thought that you could do it all.
Ronnie James, Ronnie James
Where are the dreams of Ronnie James?
You never dreamed how far it was you’d fall.
