“Have You Seen My Coffee Cup? Or, “LOST: My Marbles! REWARD if found.”

The other day, much to my chagrin, I once again “misplaced” my oft-lost coffee cup. Now this wouldn’t be so bad if I lived in some palatial multi-room mansion, but my house, being somewhat small, doesn’t have that many rooms within which to “lose” ANYTHING!

Since I adamantly refuse to admit to anything akin to age-related memory loss, I prefer to believe that this particular coffee cup has simply sprouted LEGS and developed the uncanny ability of maneuvering independently [I have this “favorite cup,” but never mind, I’ll write about this predilection some other time]. I have also conveniently “explained” this frequent “coffee-cup-loss-in-tiny-house scenario” to myself, and others, as either “poltergeist activity” or “The CAT did it”!

Admittedly I’m also prone to sometimes walking into a room, freezing mid-step and asking out loud, “Now WHY the hell did I come IN here??!” or walking up to someone to start a conversation and standing there blankly saying, “Oh shit, I forgot what I was going to say! What were we talking about?!” [Or variation of theme: “What the hell was I talking about?”] The resultant response to this question is usually a blank stare and “Hell if I know!” Of course, misery loves company so I immediately read into THEIR response, “Oh good! They’ve got it too! Thank god, I’m not alone!” Most likely, however, they really have no idea what I was going to say (and why should they?) but I’m inventive in my efforts of self-deception.

If this isn’t bad enough, my keys frequently come up “missing” and I now have about six or seven “spare sets” floating around somewhere (?) in the above-mentioned tiny house. Hell, if I didn’t do this, I’d never be able to leave the house, much less DRIVE anywhere! The “up” side, though, is that the key maker and I are now on a first-name basis and I will usually locate at least ONE of these key sets without too much difficulty and stress, thus averting an otherwise forced, involuntary “housebound’ness”.

My brother [supportive soul that he is] has laughingly “explained” my “forgetfulness” with the simple words, “you’re getting ‘old’ and losing your mind!” I would tell you what I then replied but I’m trying to keep this clean, and anyway, I don’t really remember what I said to him.

I wish I were making this all up but unfortunately it’s all sad but true, and I’d probably write a longer blog but I forgot what the hell I was talking about!

Now where was I?